24th May. Report a Benefit Thief.

"When I got up to go to the bathroom at 3 am in the morning the Cuckoos had already started cuckooing by then" said Mrs F.

Although making an early start I'm not sure the Cuckoo warrants the dementia link. The Cuckoo, if anything, is more of a benefit cheat, taking from the 'system' and putting nothing in, a confidential on-line report could reduce the incidence.

Often the Robin is on the receiving end of these brood parasites.

Section 1: About the person claiming benefit

(Please complete a separate form for each person involved).

1a. What type of benefit fraud do you think is being committed? Please choose one from this list

LAYING EGGS IN OTHER BIRDS NESTS.

Other information about the type of benefit fraud being committed? for example; if living together when did this start? If the couple have children please give full details of names, sex, age and so on.

THEY HAVEN'T BUILT A NEST THEMSELVES

What makes you think benefit fraud is being committed?

THERE IS A BABY BIRD IN OUR NEST WHICH IS ABOUT FOUR TIMES THE SIZE OF A NORMAL ROBIN

1b. Who do you suspect of benefit fraud?

Their surname or family name

CUCKOO

Their gender

FEMALE

Their forenames

N/A

Their title (for example,Mr, Mrs, Ms).

Ms.

Their other names, nicknames, aliases

DEMENTED CUCKOO

Their address

AMULREE

Their postcode

PH8

Their National Insurance number

N/A

1c. Appearance of person claiming benefit

Their ethnic group: Please choose one from this list

COMMON CUCKOO

provide any other information below

Their build: Please choose one from this list

ABOUT THE SIZE OF A BLACKBIRD

and also one from this list if helpful

Their hair colour: Please choose one from this list

GREYISH

provide any other information below

Their hair type: Please choose one from this list

FEATHERS

and also one from this list if helpful

Their distinguishing features, (for example, facial hair, tattoos, scars, piercings.)

KEEPS GOING - "CUCKOO CUCKOO"

1d. Their employment

Their employer's name and address if known

SELF EMPLOYED

Other details, about their work? (for example, type of work, times, dress, how much they earn, which days they work.)

FULL TIME CUCKOO


1e. Their vehicle details

Make and model

N/A

Please choose one of the following answers

Does the claimant have a partner ?

YES

Section 3: About you

The information you have provided is strictly confidential. You do not need to tell us who you are, but if you would like our investigators to be able to contact you for more information, please tell us:

Your name
ROBIN

Your address
AMULREE

Your phone number
N/A

Your email address

N/A

Section 4: Other details

Is there anything else we should know?

THESE CUCKOOS ARE FROM OUTSIDE THE E.U.

Thank you for the information you have provided. For reasons of confidentiality, we will not be able to tell you the result of our enquiries.