2nd August. I Shat On The Aiguille De La Tsa.

With the words ringing in my ears "There's an easy way up round the back" I set off for this improbable looking pinnacle at 5 am. This had been the pronouncment a couple of years ago from Dave "The Camel" K, the diminutive guide who never needs to drink.

The Bertol hut and been full to bursting but from the distant lights of the head torches all the other occupants were making their way under the starlight across the snowy wastes towards Zermatt.

Once round the corner there was just me, the vastness of the Swiss Alps and the twinkle of snow crystals underfoot like so many pointless camera flashes at a Robbie Williams concert.

As the sun began to rise behind the Dent Blanche I suddenly felt an urge.

The queue at 4.30 am had meant that normal ablutions had proved impossible.

Squatting down with an incredible view across to the Matterhorn turning gold in the dawn I thought this is probably the most memorable poo of my life.