MY ARSE, A FASCINATING UPDATE

No doubt there are some very sick individuals who would pay to enjoy the district nurse tut tutting as she pick picks with plastic forceps at ones bum, sat and sunday mornings, (" is that sore ?"....)
A comely grey haired matron in dark blue who declared that " a bath was in order", flatly contradicting the orders of the Glaver St Practice nurse (also grey hair do) who openly forbade bodily immersion. Honestly you don't know who to believe.
Current thinking is its "Still red and inflamed" .....apparently. But as far as I can verify from gymnastics in front of the bathroom mirror it now looks as if i've been shot in the arse at roughly point blank range. The general idea seems to be to leave this sort of facsimile arsehole open in order to fill it up with what looks suspiciously to me like Wickes clear silicon rubber.
This is a deliberate attempt to prevent the closure of said deuxieme anus.
You'd think that a hole of such depth would connect up with something else organic but it doesn't appear to, not so far. Though it occurs to me that I could be talking out of my bum.