THE DAILY ARSE 27th March

Frankly I'm gettting more than a little browned off with this abscess/boil inconvenience.
Todays rendezvous chez the health centre involved pairing up with yet another blue garbed matron.
Although on this occasion slightly more junior than my previous encounters to date, she was still possessed of that same healthy clinical detachment. Lying there in such a position it occurred how anybody in their right mind could get close to such a woman ? Of course in reality she's probably a happily married mother of up to three bouncing offspring.
However the upshot was that any explanation with regard to contravention of previous bathing prohibitions was superfluous.
Once loaded up with another shot of silicon rubber and appropriaiely attired with what looks uncommonly like a sanitary towel taped to my backside I was free to walk the streets again....