THE DAILY ARSE 25th April Terrierist Incident

Tuesday got off to rather a violent start when the medium sized dog at Yew tree Cottage mistook me for the postman, or whatever unfortunate creature its ancestors had been bred to kill. Although apparently on a tether there was still sufficient length for the much vexed terrier to shoot out of the back door and mount its ambush. The closing of the garden gate had obviously displaced the hair trigger in its head with the alarm "INTRUDER ! INTRUDER !" I had my hands full at the time with 25kg of assorted tools , and I'm afraid , although taken unawares, dismissed the attack a little to offhandedly. The dog continued to worry my ankles, jump up at me snapping, before finally sinking its teeth into my left calf. I was forced to conclude that its bite was indeed worse than its bark. Mrs Mackneesup apologised after giving the animal a sound thrashing and said " Did he bite your flesh ?" I pulled up one trouser leg....
"It's ok, really, my Tetanus is up to date, but I can see why he was an abandoned dog".
" Yes he is a little unpredictable"
" Yes ? it's lucky I'm not still at primary school... "
"Well that's why we wanted you to do the work this week while we're off.... because I don't think he would have let you in the house otherwise....."

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