17th July Extreme Hillwalking

In the interests of simulating Alpine climbing the procedure was simple enough. Take one rucksack and fill with cement (Ordinary Portland). In this case some of the bag of cement had been used last Thursday so I threw in a couple of common bricks for good measure. Once Isabelle instructed me in the use of the complicated digital scales, the balance tipped at 20kgs, which may not seem like much but it's almost a third of my bodyweight. This would technically put me at - in the old money - 13st 9lbs, Obese, but not morbidly so.

Aly Platinum (not his real name) was keen for an evening bash up West Lomond in the interests of Blood Pressure, but with the proviso that "I'm not as fit as you."

"That's ok" I said "because I'll be carrying a bag of cement."

"Right..."

Once underway in the rigid soled boots and weighted down as detailed above, it felt exactly like climbing a hill with a bag of cement on your back.

It was still warm in the evening sun, as we made our way between sheep, lambs and their droppings. I tried not to think of the 1200 ft or so of climbing ahead. Each footstep felt extra heavy and deliberate, and despite weighing in at roughly the same without the cement, Aly Platinum seemed to dance away quite swiftly in comparison.

I said "I don't know how you can live with yourself lugging this sort of weight around all day."

"It just shows you how fit I am really."

"You mean that paradoxically, if you lose weight you'll get weaker and less fit."

"Exactly."

Having reached the top with the cement, A.P. had to say he was very surprised, because that's what he'd said he would be if I ever got there when we left the car at the bottom.

Needless to say, coming down was worse, and the last half-mile seemed - aaaaaaaarrrrggggghhhhhh - more than half a mile.