10th January. Telephone Conversation with Mrs H.

"Could you cut two inches off the front of the hearth?"
"Not very easily, not now. You're supposed to have 300mm in front of the stove according to the building regulations. If your house burned down the insurance wouldn't pay out."
"Are the slabs stuck to the floor?"
"Yes, with tile cement."
"Well, it's just that they're upside down with the bar code labels showing."
"No, it's the smooth side that faces up."
"I bought them because I liked the rustic effect, I thought the bar code labels were on the back."
"Well they're kind of stuck down now."
" Oh well, I'll just have to cry every time I look at the hearth."
(Jeezuz!)