4th February. Trouble in Faeces Close.

In order to preserve a Medieval Right of Way they had to leave a back passageway between Domino's Pizza and No. 185. This should have been renamed Faeces Close, Vomit Wynd or alternatively Urine Alley, the walls also double as a blank canvas for artists working with more traditional media.

Previous attempts to prevent the ingress of undesirables from Faeces Close into the stairwell of 185 proved a failure, the Constabulary became involved when the tenant of neighbouring Flat C became a casualty of a skirmish with the Alcoholics that take up a daily residence in the bin store/ drinking den.

Our tenant e-mailed to say that she didn't mind giving the stairwell an occasional sweep but drew the line at dealing with human excrement... Inevitably today I formed up a faeces detail then headed out for a general clear up of whatever and to take door security to another level. I'm afraid that due to inherent electro-mechanical fragility we're going to have to let the convenience of intercom controlled door locking go, from now on it's No Key, No entry. I said, just send another e-mail when the door's lying splintered off its hinges.