I get a call from Lady Somebody-or-other after a chimney fire. The Aristocracy are normally the preserve of Old W., one of the few competitors in the field, who, they say, only works for the 'Titled'.
According to Lady So-and-So, 'Old W. is unavailable due to ill health' but having briefly assessed the job it seems likely that Old W. could be simply feigning illness in order to avoid the hassle, adhering to the maxim of 'picking the low-hanging fruit'. On the other hand, Old W. may have something terminal, which would leave a clear monopoly apart from Old R. who is practically up for retirement anyway.
Old Lord So-and-So is wheeled into the sitting room well wrapped in a tweed blanket with the housekeeper in attendance, on the off chance of catching any new pronouncement on the chimney. Old W's quote was 'nothing short of extortion' according to her Ladyship, so I was keen to learn something, for once, of his current pricing structure. In truth, the figure was only marginally more extortionate than what could be considered 'reasonable'.
I don't understand Old W's penchant for the Nobility as they invariably have little money, just large draughty houses and a few ponies in fields. I suggested Her Ladyship tries it on with their house insurer and meanwhile agreed to carry out a Colonoscopy on the living room chimney this Friday.
2 comments:
"Old Lord So-and-So is wheeled into the sitting room well wrapped in a tweed blanket and the housekeeper in attendance..."
That sounds like His Lordship was wrapped in his housekeeper - reminds me of the old joke;
"You eat your servants".
"No, Sir, I eat off them! Why should I use plates when there is an idle servant standing by!"
Ah, you crazy Brits with your human-rights abusing class system!
I've had to change that and to a with to avoid any ambiguities
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