2nd April. The Gimp.

Took delivery of My e-Bay wet suit today, which at first sight seemed to be roughly the right length. Actually getting into the thing proved easier said than done and I concluded that it must be sized for a twelve year old child who was also a possible anorexic.

This was contraindicated by various websites which proved beyond reasonable doubt that the size F3 of this particular make would actually fit someone larger than me. (In-credible!) Further research showed that there was some trick involving a Tesco bag and turning the wetsuit inside out.

The plastic bag reduces the rubbery-ness and allows first the feet and then the hands in, the bag however then gets trapped between the skin of the wearer and the skin of the suit, and then when it was no longer inside out it was back to front. Such force was required to get the lower half as far as the hips I thought I was going to have it pulled apart at the seams before it had even been near water.

"Could you zip me up?' I asked Isabelle who was engrossed in some documentary about genetically modified animals. Once the zip was up I felt like a Californian Seal Lion crossed with a Human and I was under a lot of pressure internally, "It's certainly skin tight" I managed to opine. My appearance was highly reminiscent of 'The Gimp' in Pulp Fiction.

What worries me is 'pre-race nerves', because everytime I go to the Leisure Pool I always seem to be in need of a period of time on the loo just before swimming, maybe it's anxiety, I don't know. Imagine being taken short in this rubber gimp suit in front of hundreds of fellow competitors...