14th May. Chimneyman III.

"You're lucky your house didn't burn down" I remarked, waving good bye to the Dutch woman and semi-dutch toddler who had recently experienced the evils of a chimney fire. "We won't be lighting the stove again until its fixed properly" she promises.

Another case of life threatening building malpractice for Chimney Repair Man.

Faster than a speeding bullet I head north through Highland Perthshire by high powered motor cycle along unfenced roads fettered with sheep and lambs. The crudely painted signs say "Sheep do not know the green cross code" I would go further and say that many have a barely concealed deathwish.

Next port of call, Mr & Mrs W. They light a fire in living room (a) and smoke comes out in downstairs bedroom (b) "How odd" not really but business gurus say you should never let the customer know how easy it all is. Mr W. fumbles around with some report from a rival firm possibly The Joker or The Penguin, "We weren't very impressed" confides Mr W.

I head down the largely deserted A9 at a speed in excess of 90 mph as the rain comes on, braking sharply for the 50 mph speed camera and turning in at 'The Motor Grill.'

"Can I have a trademark bacon, egg, beans and chips, bread & butter and a cup of tea please".

Isn't life amazing?

When I'm confined to a wheelchair and have to be fed everything through a straw, I'll look back on these days and think that I used to be somebody.

3 comments:

Amanda said...

I was waiting for a response to the previous post but I suppose it all just moves on and on?

The Editor said...

"To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow; a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

The Snoring Man said...

Googling the poetry big time I see.
At least the linings will live on.