Normally the lounge room is the 'sitting room', carpeting will be white also the three piece suite. Reading material is strictly display only, usually on the coffee table, Micheal Palin's 'Himalaya' or similar, History of The Scottish Nation, magazines - Country Life, Homes and Gardens, no TV guides.
Television will be housed in a purpose built cabinet with doors closed (antique Japanese - upper middle) with draws to conceal DVD's. There must always be at least one surface such as a sideboard with ranks of impossible to dust framed photographs of family members, snapshots of dead pets also permitted.
Kitchen 'must haves' include a 'Belfast' pattern white porcelain sink and another sink somewhere else in the same room. Make sure you have a huge fridge freezer with doors that meet down the middle with an ice making thing.
The downstairs toilet is reserved for large official group photographs from public schools, either your children or yourself.
Certificates such as Lt. So&So has completed the arctic warfare course at wherever in 1985, pictures of tank regiments, anything with the Queen Mother or lesser Royals are excellent, tennis tournaments, Rugby first xv's, also framed collages from weddings or family holidays in Greece are good, an average size is 24" x 32".
If your family are high achievers or attended a large school with very long group photographs, it is normally permissable for these to be in the down stairs lobby.
The stairs are strictly reserved for photographs or paintings, if you have them, of dead ancestors in some sort of order. A family tree is good on the landing but this is restricted to upper-middle class.
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6 comments:
THis is brilliant! You'rte either faux-posh yerself, a laird or have a brilliant eye for detail - you pomms* love your deep-rooted, well-established class system, I must say, and all the rules that go with it (including, it seems, those pertaining to home decoration).
* - this deliberate dig as I think you are Scotish, no?
I have a finally honed class consciousness due to my parents being a 'mixed marriage' ie different sides of the tracks.
My father was the only person I've seen who used a knife and fork to eat a banana.
Haven't you forgotten the drinks cabinet disguised as a globe?
Upper middle classes may have a drawing room as well as or instead of a sitting room. They will certainly not have a toilet - it'll be the loo or the lavatory - the bog, even, but never a toilet.
I haven't actually seen a globe disguised a drinks cabinet yet.
Perhaps 'cloakroom' is an all embracing term?
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