THE DAILY ARSE 4th April

Today marked a solemn return to full time working despite a continued attendance at the surgery for a bum showing every other day. The lucky client Mr McD ( 50 and still groovy) is based in the very locale of the health centre rather than at the head of Glen Lyon. This bestowed an unexpected advantage on Mr McD re the endless queuing system for my services".
He greeted me warmly and straightaway posed a common enough customer question;
"will there be much dust ?" indicating the high standard of interior decor.
"Dust?... Well, not compared with the events that unfolded on august the 6th 1945 in Hiroshima, Japan" I replied.
Its important to maintain a strict code of professional attitude and distance, when dealing with the public. To that end the Kango Rotary Hammer and ear defenders take the place of the white coat and stethoscope as convenient props that help foster this illusion. Thus providing a handy automatic licence to create as much rubble in any situation as "necessary" . Suitably reassured, Mr McD left for work in his Audi, confident that during my workday with the demolition hammer here at 59 Craigellachie crescent I probably wouldn't be emerging through the living room wall into number 61......