THE DAILY ARSE 5th April

Almost a worse case scenario here at No. 59; a woman from the nursing profession, off work with a cold, no apparent childcare duties and very fixed ideas about the patterning of fireplace tiles etc. It soon became clear that a worthwhile reduction in carbon emmisions or simple fuel efficiency were never factors affecting the decision to fit the new stovax brunel multifuel stove.
Instead the primary concern was and continues to be, of course, "how it's going to look, when its finished". The key phrase here is "when its finished" because its not often easy to tell how something's going to look until, well.. until it's finished? exactement, therein lies the rub. In common with many other couples who purchase a house the wife is invariably overcome by an immediate and overwhelming desire to remove the previous womans choice of hearth tiles. In the case in question, this was only to reveal yet another womans choice of tiles. A layer that could be dated fairly accurately by sheer hideousness to the mid 1950's. When women, by popular account, were very different creatures.....