28th May. Green Land.

Had to go and see a man about wood chip fired boilers, the idea is that because we've been used to cheap oil here for years out of the North Sea, which is now running out, we're all going to be falling over ourselves to spend £15,000 on one of this tried and tested Austrian machines.

"That's quite an amount to payback" I said

"Five years"

"That's a lot of oil"

"Well our heating bill here was about £3000 a year in oil"

"That must be a lot of wood chips"

"About 40 tonnes"

This is how the future's going to be: basically the whole country will be covered in Genetically Modified Willow for coppicing which is then turned into wood chips and there won't be anything to eat on account of the changing land use...

Or you can put on two or three extra jumpers during the months November to March.

6 comments:

The Snoring Man said...

I am willing for you to fit one into my house as a prototype (at no charge to me). May have to line my chimney when you are at it, but it will pay you handsomely in the end. I will allow photography for advertising purposes.
Or, you could bring me round a nice new jumper.

The Editor said...

There's no such thing as free energy - that's what the world can't come to terms with.

The Incredible Bulk said...

Surely once your workshop is ready you can make a perpetual motion machine to give us all free energy?

Unknown said...

I'm still working to solve that cold fusion thing. The test will be whether or not I will be able to introduce it to the world at large without being assassinated by someone from Exxon-Mobil. ;)

The Editor said...

The building of the workshop, isn't that perpetual motion anyway?

I think I'm in favour of Perpetual Stasis.

The Editor said...

That's a very bold statement about Cold Fusion, anything that uses water for fuel could attract unwanted attention.