7th May. Starlings 'R' Us.

A family of starlings have been served with 3 weeks notice to quit. These birds have ruined the scheduling here in Aberdeen by nesting in a chimney which was destined to receive a liner this very week, and are busy raising a family of four.

Their removal could be effected by pouring half a gallon of diesel down the chimney pot followed by a match; it's a fairly unorthodox approach but quite safe, provided a co-worker is on hand to catch the burning nest and nestlings when the whole lot falls into the living room fireplace.

In the UK however, it's illegal to disturb any nesting bird. The once appropriately named Common Starling has become the Uncommon Starling.

There are other reasons, 'Conscience' among them. More seriously, such an act of violence against defenceless birds could bring a serious threat to the Marriage, the stark choice would be to tell Isabelle and face the consequences or forever live a lie...

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

while i was out of town my husband poisoned a complete hive of gentle honeybees and all the delicious honey we might have gotten, and since then he has been and will be living with the consequences.

so- a good decision on your part. c

The Editor said...

Bees almost caused the death of me. Bees and working at height don't go together very well.

They're just another thing that like to set up home inside a chimney a long with Crows and hibernating butterflies